He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
