Kareoke will never be a sober sport
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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