God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
