after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
