my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
