found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
