One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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