There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize