I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
