i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
