I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize