I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
