i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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