p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
