Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
