id be glad to
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
