Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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