Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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