Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
