just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
