Whoa Z and x make the same sound
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
