dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
