ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
