Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
