okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
