Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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