I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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