When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
