you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
