He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
40s are totally the cure
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
