You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
