At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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