Me too!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My vagina is officially offended.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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