I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We left the knife in your bed.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
