Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Boobs speak an international language.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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