anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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