How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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