I want to have your abortion
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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