You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
