Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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