1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
