And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize