Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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