yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
