You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
