Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
