OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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