At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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