airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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