she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize