What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
