I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
