She's JV to your varsity
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize