we have pet lesbian snakes
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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