So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
