just tell him i said nine months
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
