Need sex. Gaining weight.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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