Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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