You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
