Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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