I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you didnt know i had herpes?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
