why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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