these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
