just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
